Whether it’s social phobias, burnout or depression, mental illnesses are becoming more and more widespread these days. According to statistics from the RKIs, one in three people in Germany will suffer from such problems at least once in their lifetime.
It is therefore quite natural that people looking for a partner may also meet singles with such conditions. But what is actually important in such constellations so that dating can lead to success?
Should singles be open about their condition?
Experience reports from those affected show time and again that it is more promising to deal with the disease openly. Hiding it is usually not a good idea.
Of course, there is always a certain risk of scaring off the other person. Nevertheless, clarity can be created from the outset in this way. If, on the other hand, a great deal of effort is made to maintain an impression of normality, this places a great burden on those affected. There is also an increased risk of becoming entangled in excuses and lies over time.
Nevertheless, there is hardly ever a right time to talk about the illness. Many people who suffer from depression, for example, would not mention it during the initial dating phase. Many sufferers also prefer to keep quiet about their regular visits to the psychotherapist during the first few meetings.
This is perfectly normal, as it takes a certain amount of trust to reveal such things. However, if a serious relationship develops after a few dates, it makes sense to play with open cards. This is especially true if you have a serious mental illness, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, mania or addiction.
Many sufferers find it particularly easy to talk about their problems with like-minded people. They can meet them on special platforms for dating with mental health problems.
It depends on the individual’s feelings
Incidentally, many psychologists also share this view. They advise those affected to only talk about their psychological suffering when they feel ready to do so. After all, this is a very personal issue.
When the right moment has come is a highly individual decision. It also depends on the illness in question and the everyday problems and challenges associated with it.
However, if a situation arises during the dating process that requires explanation, experts advise not to develop any tactics to conceal it. This could lead to the dating partner feeling deceived afterwards.
It also depends on the other person
However, many people are not even aware of their illness. They may not be able to properly classify their symptoms or repress their feelings. If dating takes place at this stage, for example in order to become happier again, the plan is often doomed to failure and attempts to enter into a relationship are usually not pleasant for anyone involved.
A new partner can never be the salvation from psychological problems – in most cases, this only results in emotional overload for the other person. An acute phase of severe mental illness or depression is therefore hardly the right time to start a solid partnership at eye level. The situation is different if the person concerned is successfully undergoing therapy or is receiving the appropriate medication.
However, it should not be forgotten that the general attitude of the other person also plays a role. Not every potential partner feels able to deal with a person with mental health problems. This is perfectly fine. However, it is important to clarify this from the outset as soon as the dating intensifies.
